If you’re frightened…
If you’re worn thin…
If you feel broken in places you don’t even have words for yet…
Listen to me.
I was married for almost 20 years and before anyone turns that into a love story, let me tell you the truth.
We were not the great romance.
I was young. I didn’t have a good example of what a healthy marriage looked like. I didn’t walk into that marriage in love. I walked in pregnant, scared and trying to escape a living situation I didn’t want to be in.
We did the best we could with what we had. And then… we didn’t.
That marriage was toxic. He had his demons. I had low self esteem and a baby. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or what I needed. I only knew how to survive. When you walk away from something like that, you don’t walk out strong and confident. You walk out tired. Nervous. Worn down. Wondering if safe love even exists.
What surprised me most later wasn’t finding love again. It was realizing that I was worthy of it. That I didn’t have to earn affection by over giving or changing myself. That love isn’t something you’re rewarded with for being quiet, agreeable, or easy….I deserved to be loved. Fully. Gently. Without proving my value first. Some of us didn’t grow up with a blueprint for healthy love.
We learned by trial and error. By pain. By staying silent when we should’ve spoken. By becoming smaller when we needed to be held. Healing doesn’t arrive loud. Love doesn’t rush you. The right kind of love doesn’t demand that you be fixed before it finds you. It meets you where you are. Still shaky. Still learning. Still unsure….
Little by little, you remember who you are. Not who you were in survival mode.Not who you had to become to make it through. But the woman underneath all of that. If all you can do right now is breathe and get through today, that is enough. If trusting again feels impossible, that’s okay. You are not late.You are not behind. You are BECOMING.
Love after heartbreak isn’t about starting over from nothing. It is about starting from truth. From wisdom earned the hard way. From a heart that now knows what it will never accept again. So my friend if you’re scared, tired and wondering if joy will ever find you…It will. It finds the bravest people last sometimes.
And you, sweet soul…You are worthy of being loved.
You always were.
Goodnight,
-Kari
